Mother

I did not expect to leave you so early, I didn’t foresee that time would be against us here on this earth.

In hindsight I see why, I had played my part and I am blessed to have been returned back to infinite life. I now exist in everlasting joy, laughter, freedom and peace.

I exist in Omarion, Lenay , Kieron, David Jnr, Dad and ultimately you.

Your pain troubles me mom, it is to be expected; however I see, how in your soul, you carry confusion and regret. I see how you carry blame and hopelessness in your heart and that is not what I want Mom.

I had been given the greatest gift, 16 years of love in abundance and now infinite existence in a euphoric space. Paradise is what you would call it :).

Listen to me Mom, listen to when I call, because in this realm I can still communicate to you through an intangible force and energy that exists in your intuition and in your heart.

I am all around you, in the places we visited, I am in our tv shows and in our music. I am in the sunshine and I am in the clouds. Do not run away from it, for in those things I exist. I am in our games and in our pains. I am in the sound of la’rae’s giggle. I am in every bite of sister sheila’s cakes. I am in Brother Charlie’s studies, I am everywhere, that is what is so beautiful about leaving my house behind or should I say my body. I am no longer bound, I am everywhere.

You did your job, and loved me well, you carried my fears and anxieties. So now love yourself – love yourself mom because that is the only way you will win! It is the only way you can give, it is the only way to share your journey, the only way is to start by doing what ever it takes to love yourself, guilt free because now I am free.

love you mother – Happy mothers day ( from me and the gang).

Tyra.

Hi Mom,

I know the pain hasn’t gone away and nothing that I say will change that, but I hope you feel better by the time you’ve finished reading this. You just have to believe that I am free in every way possible. Not affected by pain, hurt, loss or misery.

I know its a sad day but I would expect that if I was still physically there you would have sent me and Emily to Jamaica for my birthday in nothing less than a 5 star hotel! andddddd an upgrade to this car.

I was there when Lenay had the baby. Thanks for being there for her Mom, you know I would have him all the time. Lenays struggling but she isn’t used to it, so we just have to be patient with her. You know I was the epitome of Mothercare, so tell her that I am right there beside her in the middle of the night, even though she took my roomdon’t worry I give her my blessing, I know you were all finding it hard walking past everyday – I was your fave 🙂

Sometimes I get frustrated because I just want to hug you all but I cant, I just have to watch over you. I can come in and out, I cant explain it but I am everywhere. I exist everywhere. I see you cry and laugh and reminisce and struggle and all the way back around again. Each day is different – sometimes you are motivated to live a better life and sometimes you don’t want to get out of bed. It’s ok to have those days too. Healing takes time, just remember that I am present in so many ways.

I know things will never feel the same but think of it as feeling ‘different’ with different versions of me coming in the family through new lives. Anyway, I am glad that you are all still finding ways to smile together. I would be so annoyed if I was having to deal with that virus business. The world is changing, so you have to change with it. Keep everyone safe Mom, you are the heart of the family. Without you, there is no family, I know that is a heavy burden to bear but it’s always been that way. You have to look after yourself to be able to support them – Omarion, Dad and lenay still need you more then ever. Oh, can you buy the baby a tracksuit and trainers from me …pleaseeeee 🙂

Love you Mom

Stay strong

Tyra